The Mindset Of A Baby

 Babies Bliss. 

How the freedom of mind and possibility we enter the world with, can slowly  shrink as we're exposed to the world around us.

But it doesn't have to. When becoming aware of how our environment, preconceptions, judgements and fears influence us, we can acknowledge them and let them go without them impacting, harming or controlling us. Although we are intelligent beings, what the mind assumes isn't always fact, it's trying to protect you. It jumps to conclusions as a result of what we've previously been exposed to, what's happened to us before, and societies constructs that feed us. With awareness comes choice, and with choice comes freedom.

Let’s start at the very beginning. ‘Life is a series of baby steps’ – Hoda Kotb.

No matter our age, identity, or beliefs, we all start as a little foetus. An egg that starts growing, kicking, and finally coming into the world when the time is right, we have all been a baby once. Brought into this world as seed of greatness with not the slightest clue about what we’re letting ourselves in for, the roller-coaster of life.

When we first come into the world we are just pure, naked, clueless beings. A blank canvas. Of course, when it comes down to the genius work and case studies of scientists over the years, we know that some of what makes us who we are is predetermined. How much and exactly what those traits are will be different in every one of us, but it’s true that genetics can play a key part in who we are as individuals. 

Nature. Genes and hereditary, biological factors. Our individual DNA’s are made up of those who created us, so some aspects of our individuality may not feel so individual, but they are. You may share similarities with your mother or your father, you might have heard ‘you’re just like your mother’ or ‘your father does that’, or if you’re a twin like me ‘you look exactly the same’ and even have the same DNA. But even so, every single one of us is completely individual. We may share similarities, but no one is exactly the same. Isn’t that beautiful and something to treasure in itself? You are the only you. 

But Nature is not the only factor that establishes who we are. Nurture has been found to play a key part to. Our environment, surroundings and life experiences. From day one on this earth, how you’re brought up and what you are exposed to will all have shaped, blossomed, and bloomed you into the person you are today. That’s something to, isn’t it? You may have had a childhood of abundance, luxury and love. You may have had a childhood of trouble, pain and suffering. But both are here now and both are valuable people. Everyone's path's are different, even though we are all part of the same species. Two lenses, but one world.

I think that’s an important nugget to remember in life, we are all humans living in the same world, but equally, we are all different and individual. Take comfort from, and allow recognition of both, know that you are a human in a world full of other humans and that should be a reassurance within you, no matter our differences we should hold hands in acknowledgement of that. Alongside that you can recognise your own power, although you have lots of other humans in existence with you, you are your own being with your own journey. Solidarity as humans, strength as individuals.

Living daily life as a baby seems like a dream world in reflection don’t you think? Crying when you’re hungry or want something, sleeping when you’re tired and eating when you’re given food. Bliss. Believe it or not, it’s been found that babies can actually regulate their own states, they’re more intelligent than just being reflexive. They don’t just cry when they’re hungry, but cry if they’re in need of more interaction or comfort and can even fall asleep to shut out stressful situations. So as well as being little clever clogs, babies are simply living in the present. ‘What do I want and how do I feel right now?’ That’s how we all begin. Tuned into how we feel moment to moment and responding organically. 

As well as living presently as a baby, we also live openly, something that’s certainly tested as we grow older. Living openly can be difficult when life hits you with fear, unknown and obstacles, but as babies we don’t know that yet as we haven’t experienced it. Without any pre-conceptions, experiences or lessons on how things work, everything is brand new and we are open to possibility. I want you to think about how it must feel to live like that, to live in the mind-set of a baby, put yourself in the teeny shoes of what you once were and consider how refreshing that must be. Seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting things for the first time, where everything is fascinating. No judgement, pre-conceptions, fear or worry, just curiosity and openness. I want you to look at yourself now, put yourself back into your current shoes and think about how that may greatly differ from how you live right now. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy. Obstacles are faced, walls are built, routines are set, judgements are made, thoughts are racing… but it’s important to realise that none of these things should stop you from being able to remain open and curious in the now. 

The past and the future have their place in our lives. The past can be comforting to look back on, good memories will always hold a place in our hearts, but it can also be sad or scary when we hang onto the past due to an emotion we’ve attached to it, and it can hold us back as a consequence. We have the power to let go of what’s not helpful to us, managing rather than forgetting, accepting the past as part of our journey and holding onto good memories. We grow through what we go through, so the past brings us many lessons, but it shouldn’t be where we stay. It’s a holiday to look back on, not a home.

In today’s high strung society it’s become the norm to focus on goals, to question what if and to constantly be on the go. Of course, desire and dreams are important in knowing yourself and what you want. It’s great to build a drive and focus towards where you want to get, but just like the past, these future desires shouldn’t cloud your attention on what’s happening right now. I believe the goals we set ourselves can have clear intentions and of course they have to be realistic, but the path we take and the journey of life is made out of play-doh, it can change and reshape. I think like many things in life, goals are to be considered and thought about, but not to be dwelled upon. Once thought about they are there within you, they are rooted and connected and aren’t going away if you aren’t constantly thinking about them. If you have that clear focus and vision for something then psychologically, without you even knowing, your choices and decisions will have an effect on leading you down that path. Have dreams, of course, but I want you to remind yourself that life isn’t simple enough to plan everything ahead, not everything is in your control. Although that’s a little intimidating, that’s what makes life exciting. The future is something to consider, the past is something to reflect, but neither are a state of living. Only presence is. By focusing so much on what you want or wish you were, you lose connection and comfort in what you already have, and I don’t mean materialistically, I simply mean within yourself. ‘You’, right now in this moment are enough, and it’s frustrating to me that that sentiment can become lost. 

As babies we are open to every opportunity. Just being. Next time you see a baby, notice how they breathe. Freely. They often have that little bulging belly. That’s complete relaxation. When we are born our emotional mind is a blank slate, pure and unaffected. Imagination is limitless and play is in abundance, babies respond and are able to feel, but things are easily let go of and they’re able to move on as they remain in the present. They return to exploration and free expression. As we grow, learn and experience, it seems we cannot live that way again, but we can. It’s accessible to us just as it was back then, we just slowly move away from it as we build walls throughout our lives, based on what we experience and are exposed to. When they cry, watch how their stomach moves in and out. When they laugh, watch how their belly jiggles. Freedom in their bodies. 

As impossible as it may feel for you right now, it is possible to live with the mind-set similar to that of a little baby. Curious and present. Babies smile around four hundred times a day, an involuntary reflection of happiness, satisfaction. The average adult smiles around twenty. As babies we are unconditioned and open, so smiling is an instant response to a stimuli in the present moment. As we grow older, we often forget to smile as we are stuck in the past, in fear of the future and wrapped up in the fast pace of our minds, unable to be satisfied with what we have or who we are, our wants and what we could have become our focus. Smile more as babies do, it’s infectious and will help generate more positive emotions within you. When things are so set in their ways this way of life can seem alien and out of reach, but we are all able to get there with perseverance and practice, just like anything in life. 

I like to think of life like a train journey. When getting on a train you have to have your ticket, that’s the past. You buy the ticket and you put it in your pocket. It’s not your focus but it’s on you. Just like your past, it’s not the focus but it is part of you. You take the ticket with you just as you carry your past and the lessons it’s taught you. You then get on the train and check the stop you are going to get off at. You know where you’re heading. Just like your future. You know what destination you want to get to, but it doesn’t consume you. Once you know where you’re going you simply sit down on the train and enjoy the journey. Look out the window, read, and people watch. That’s how I view life. Live it like a trip on the train… have the past in your pocket and the future in your mind but then sit down and enjoy the journey.

‘It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare’ – Lisa Lieberman-Wang’.