The Difference Between 'Body Confidence' and 'Body Positivity'?
A body is a body, just as a human is a human, although we have our differences, we have the right to all be treated the same when it comes to living on earth.
‘Bikini body' or
'beach body ready’ should be nothing other than what it spells out. A bikini, a
body, and you’re ready. Bikini, swim shorts, swimming costume, summer wear.
Nobody should feel they don’t have the option to wear what they desire because
of the body they are in, despite what the media may inform us, don’t spend your
time preparing for summer or trying to change yourself when it’s already ready
when summers here, it’s ready as you are. I’m an advocate for viewing our
bodies as our home and accepting it in its neutral state with neutral response.
I stand for body confidence. I stand for body positivity, although it is
something I cannot be part of myself, I still agree with it. Often we
incorrectly label ‘body positivity’ thinking it’s the same thing as body
confidence, when they are actually different.
Body confidence is the state of feeling confident in
your own body. Body positivity is a movement that
was made in the 1960’s by and for the marginalised and oppressed bodies within
society as a safe place to celebrate radical self-acceptance, away from
oppressive standards and under representation. Therefore in the petite frame I
exist in I do not stand under that umbrella, but I do support the raising and
acceptance of those who do. We are able to respect all voices, rather than take
away from their right to be heard. We can be accepting of all, rather than
disregard, assume, brand or judge. No ‘body’ is a ‘wrong’ body and
shouldn’t be made to feel that way, too curvy and you should lose weight, too
skinny you have no shape. We’re conditioned to be too judgemental and we can
come away from it. I encourage confidence, the ability you have to respect your
body, even without placing a positive or negative thought or energy towards it
and that you don’t always have to feel or be positive in order to be
comfortable in your skin.
Self-acceptance and
value in your own body doesn’t come as a gift to anyone but yourself. It’s not
about ‘loving yourself’ and having to prove it, but getting to a point where
that’s just the way it is, you don’t even have to think about it because it’s
just there. Like breathing. It doesn’t mean you have to post yourself in your
underwear for everyone to see, post about it to justify it, or receive
validation or congratulations when you accept it. It shouldn’t be displayed as
a milestone, but an acceptance of personal pride and liberation.
Whilst you can share it with others if you wish to and that’s your gateway to
shifting fear, then by all means do so. But just because someone else does it,
that doesn’t mean you have to. It’s not a necessity to existing with
self-acceptance.
The clues in the
word, the self is all that matters when it comes to accepting you for you. You
don’t have to prove to anyone that you’ve reached a ‘point’, we don’t need to
put standards or expectations on something that has none but being as you are.
When we do, it becomes something we view as greater than us or something that’s
out of reach when it’s not, it’s within all of us. Although it can be
challenging, it’s simple. Although it’s liberating, it’s not special. Celebrate
it but celebrate with yourself, it’s a conversation, feeling and freedom in
self not with others. It’s something you don’t need to prove to know in
ourselves, it’s not a medal or an achievement as such, but a contentment inside
that will open doors outside, doing and being you no matter what anyone else
thinks. Potential judgement becomes irrelevant and that’s where the euphoria of
it is, not the displaying of it.
Of course it’s
impossible after so many years of thinking and believing certain things to be
true to just suddenly wake up and love yourself fully for who you are, and
instantly tell yourself all that you once thought to be true is a lie. But you
can implement changes to slowly diminish those beliefs, you can alter ingrained
thought processes through practice. Through challenging. You can choose to wake
up and remind yourself that your body is to be cared for and nourished no
matter what it looks like. To wake up and remind yourself of all the valuable
things your body can do despite how it looks. You can choose to remind yourself
that analysing your body is unhelpful, unnecessary and you can choose to resist
the need to do it by engaging in something else, having your breakfast,
meditation, dancing to music, anything other than picking yourself apart.
No matter how hard we
try, we will never be the clone of somebody else and that finding happiness
doesn’t have to be found anywhere but within yourself, how someone looks
doesn’t just come down to what they eat and do at the gym, many other factors
come into play that we can’t determine or change such as genetics, bone
structure, where you are more likely to hold body fat, your posture. Even if we
all followed exactly the same regime, we would still be very different. Rather
than fighting to change your body, cherish the fact that you have one in the
first place, that's protecting you, that you're alive. Accepting doesn’t come
with anything, it comes on its own with no standards, as you are and it can’t
be given to you by anyone but yourself. Whether a level of muscle is
visible on your body or not does not determine your worth, beauty, or
well-being, they are just muscles. They’re not the only marker of strength and
capability.
Imagine if we could
see our cardiac muscle that makes up our heart. It’s the same thing, but we’d
wince and grimace at that because we haven’t been brought up in a society that
idolises it, that claims its true beauty and what we should aim for. Real
toned, visible cardiac muscle. Ludicrous. Stretch marks aren’t to be demonised
either, they’re a natural part of change, they are just markers of being
stretched beyond your original state, its evidence for your growth and
inevitable. A good heart towers stories and who you are towers above external
image, attractiveness is subjective, not everyone is attracted to the same
people and what a blessing that is. So if the fact of the matter is that we are
all different and we are all attracted to different people, then that in itself
conveys the lack of specificity ‘beauty’ itself can hold. Beauty cannot be
defined by one shape, one colour, one way, if it could, a rainbow would only be
made up of one colour. Your body is your home, you can let yourself feel safe
in it.
Of course we can
want things and we can dream, but it’s about whether those wants are attainable
and if they’re a goal to keep us pushing forwards, or whether not having them
holds us back. You can work towards things, but it’s about a healthy attachment
to that want and knowing you are just as worthy and beautiful right now. When
we think about what we want it can be helpful in keeping us driven and
determined, but it’s about acknowledging those wants and then heading down the
path with the awareness that things can and may change, that when we want
things we are suggesting to ourselves that there are holes that require filling
rather than knowing we are already whole as we are. Those wants, receiving and
reaching new places are just bonuses, extra pennies, they are not the golden
ticket to happiness. It is okay to move forwards and improve, but within what’s
possible and not detrimental, that by improving we are growing and not
correcting. Contentment should be our biggest want. That can be found whenever
and wherever you want it and comes hand in hand with acceptance. You are
enough. Be aware of when comparison’s enter your thoughts and know you have the
ability to stop yourself, it’s in your power to stop, step away, acknowledge
what you do have with love and know it’s enough, you don’t have to be trapped
in the endless cycle of wanting more when you can be happy as you are.
Connect to yourself
and those things that only you are capable of, without
comparing to anyone else, when that voice creeps in with a negative sting, take
time to focus on those things you love. Think of them and thank them. I thank
my senses, heart for beating, my organs and the work they do to keep me alive,
my legs for being able to walk, skip and run, my brain for thinking and though
frustrating, its ability to overthink. It only shows I care, its power within
me rather than over me, my smile, my kindness, my strength, willpower, drive,
determination, love to give, awareness and my body for carrying me. We focus
too much on what our body looks like and not enough on the amazing things it
does for us. None of those things are aesthetic, they are what keeps us alive
and that’s what really matters. In letting go, that’s where the beauty
lies.
Everyone dislikes
parts about themselves, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Perfect doesn’t
exist, so we can stop ourselves from chasing it. It’s about knowing there are
things you don’t particularly like about yourself but accepting yourself
nevertheless, they can’t stop you from living a fulfilled life. It’s like
living with a little fly, it’s irritating but it’s not debilitating, once the
fly know it’s place or finds its way out the window of your mind, you can still
carry on. You don’t have to sacrifice your mental and physical well-being to
chase, conform to or owe society a body that isn’t your own. You can prioritise
your own well-being without that.
Energy cannot be
destroyed, it can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another.
So if you find yourself giving energy to comparison, don’t try and destroy it
but invest it into something else, something that is going to make you feel
good and how you deserve to feel. Journeys, abilities, where someone is,
lifestyle, choices, achievements, we are all so different and therefore it’s
not helpful to compare paths. Remind yourself that you can raise someone else
up without lowering your own self down. You are doing just fine right where you
are.
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