'UNCLOUDING AND UNWIRING THE MIND'

     

Our minds are extremely powerful. Our brain and body are connected, it’s an energy, and we can change our physical world by changing thoughts and beliefs. It begins with what our brain perceives and because we are in control of our thoughts, we can control our perception. How we perceive things directly effects how we think, which then effects how we respond and behave. It’s a cycle. Thoughts create feelings. Feelings create behaviour. Behaviour reinforces thoughts. Our bodies are direct products of our minds, though we can often mask it externally, our body holds on to and is effected by how the mind thinks. So if we take care of the thoughts, the feelings and behaviours can be altered as a consequence. This is the strategy behind cognitive behaviour therapy. We’re able to take back control of our whole being. One of the thoughts or feelings of course being ‘stress’, we often feel stressed because of how we think about something rather than how things actually are.

Reducing stress takes letting go of particular standards, accepting that perfect doesn’t exist and listening to our own bodies. We can choose to think positively, simply thinking in this way doesn’t immediately have to come with complete belief, over time belief with bloom from an initial spec as new pathways are formed. Initiating a positive feedback loop. Thinking positively, behaving in a way that supports the outlook, feeling positive as a result. The choice we have in creating positive environments and situations for ourselves. Looping cause and effect. 

Of course we will experience discomfort at times, but in training the mind, the inner self that is free of judgement will begin to hold onto positive thoughts and unconsciously shape how you feel and behave. ‘Positive thinking’ includes giving ourselves permission to sit with negative feelings and feel discomfort to. It’s not using this way of thinking to avoid, supress, or pretend they’re not there, but using it to accept. We can practice new ways of thinking and perceiving and when we do this, it creates new neural pathways that eventually become new ways of thinking. We can train our brain. The neuroplasticity inside can physically change, it’s changing all the time due to what we experience and are exposed to through our lives, it’s malleable. We’re never stuck in one way of thinking.

Although intentions have their purpose in the reasoning behind our actions, it depends on perception whether than intention is recognised. When we change our perception, we change our reality. It takes practicing unlearning and challenging those thoughts as much as it took to establish those thoughts in the first place. They haven’t always been there so they don’t have to stay. Where your mind goes, energy flows. Because that’s the case, when we let our mind run with possible scenarios or stories, we let our energy flow there, we give our attention and focus to what’s not even in existence yet. 

First, we need to identify the ‘stressor’. Define the root of why we are experiencing that feeling or what’s triggered it. Trying to articulate, talk and express how you feel. They can either be internal or external. Let’s talk internal first. Those elements inside ourselves. Considering how you think and acknowledging if it’s helping or hindering. Consider another perspective of what is in reality, no matter how challenging it may be, choose to view a positive rather than a negative, flip it round just to see how that makes you feel. Fixing emotional routes can have an effect on the physical. Once the ‘stressor’ becomes evident, you can either change your thought process which’ll directly change your behaviours and feelings as a by-product, or you can remove the ‘stressor’ completely. Either can directly reduce the stress, because in removing or reducing the ‘stressor’, you remove or reduce the ‘stress’.

By shifting perception on how we see ourselves we can help reduce distress or that need to change ourselves to look a certain way. I truly believe if we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. Let go of the fear of judgement from others when you don’t know what they’re thinking. You cannot control what others think about you, but you can choose how you talk to yourself.  

If you are trying to get rid of a thought that keeps popping back in your mind, ask yourself that although something may be looming or coming up, is thinking about it as much as you are going to actually help? If not, bring your attention to something else, bring it away from your mind and to another activity. Stress as a feeling or experience in itself doesn’t have to be stressful, it’s a valid feeling just like every other, and no matter what its consequence or intensity, we all experience it. When those niggles come along, we can choose to not make them grow when we realise it’s our body’s way of protecting us. When our brains recognise that we are no longer in danger the opposite of the fight or flight occurs so our bodies can return back to a calm and relaxed state. This is what I call ‘crossing the bridge when we get to it’, the sudden rise of a feeling that we can’t plan for. Remind yourself that some bridges we can avoid, some bridges we can climb, and some bridges we just have to cross when we get to them.

Wondering about what the future holds and putting pressure on that can create that feeling of stress, aim to bring your attention to the present whenever you find yourself being led astray. End gaming. Assuming something was going to be the case before knowing. Fear is only an energy. Pull it closer for it to change. Shift into another, rather than resisting or suppressing it.

If the future seems overwhelming, remember it comes moment by moment. You can think about goals and consider what I like to call the ‘immediate future’. Thinking about what you're going to do the next day, just the next day so it doesn’t become too overwhelming. Giving yourself a plan of action, enabling you to declutter the mind and have a clear purpose in your behaviour. But daily obstacles arise that we can’t plan for and if and when these come along, you don’t want to put stress on yourself when it’s unnecessary and those changes are sometimes inevitable.

Remember that although change can be frustrating and it can stop you in your path, it doesn’t stop your path altogether. With change comes the almighty acceptance that ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist and plans can always be changed. Let go of what’s not in your control, it’s not only liberating and relieving, but can open up the idea that messy can be fun. 

But it’s not just the internal that presents us with potential ‘stressors’, it’s the external to. There are a lot of external factors that we cannot control, things that come along without our permission, shock us, change everything up or test us. But there are some external elements we can become aware of to reduce the stress we experience. Become aware of the environment you place yourself in. The people that you surround yourself with.

Although we cannot always determine who we interact with, we can be aware of who we choose to be our friends. Those we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. Either ‘expect’ of us or ‘accept’ us. Choose to surround yourself with people that bring out the best in you. The love, the joy, those that challenge us in a positive way, support and encourage us. You can change elements of your environment if they are not elevating your happiness. If it’s causing you unnecessary stress, you are allowed to walk away, despite who you may feel fearful of hurting, though that might be the case initially, you will be helping yourself and them by acknowledging your happiness. 

Let in the people and the places that make you feel at peace, that recognise your worth, encourage you to be yourself and make you happy to be alive. Because we are all different, although we can still appreciate and accept everyone, we may not be able to grow in every environment. Sometimes when we change our environment, we change our growth.

The other external element that you are in control of is your online self. Social media. What you choose to research. What you choose to invest time and energy into. Consider who you ‘follow’ and whether they are supporting you and filling you with joy. Follow positive accounts, accounts that celebrate all, accounts that help you rather than hinder. Unfollow anyone who doesn’t make you feel empowered, informed, inspired or spread positivity. You do not need to spend time scrolling, reading or seeing things that aren’t helpful to you when you can just press one button and that stress or pressure on your shoulders can be removed. You can spend time online, but spend time offline to. In the real world. Relish in reality and take frequent breaks from it. The information will still be there if and when you return, so you are not missing out. 

Look up and out, not just down at your phone. When we spend too much time online it can become overwhelming, comparing begins, or we start to feel negative about ourselves or our own lives because of what we see portrayed on there. Follow and research what fuels you with goodness so that if and when it becomes too much, it’s only fuelling what feeds your positive mind-set. But know it’s still helpful to step away at times. Spend time with yourself to in order to understand yourself and recognise when things become unhelpful to reduce its likelihood of happening again. Question, ‘does this support the life I am choosing to create’.