'New Year, Same you?'
Every year as we get closer to New Years Eve on the 31st of December, considering our 'New Year's Resolutions' becomes a common tradition, thinking about what we would like the New Year to bring us, or perhaps certain behaviours or habits we would like to alter or work on.
Personally, I have always found a certain pressure comes with this outlook, and instead of being something to question optimistically, it can often become stressful and slightly anxiety inducing as our minds can focus on what we may view as negatives regarding ourselves and set certain goals for the New Year to change ourselves as if we are magic or superhuman, setting our standards too high.
Sometimes, with this mentality comes the term 'New Year, New Me', the idea that we are going to become someone new as one year ends and another starts, someone better or perhaps closer to the 'ideal, perfect human'. However, as I mention time and time again, perfect doesn't exist. We do not need to put pressure on ourselves to completely change or try and become someone else, which is why I prefer the phrase 'New Year, New Present', starting from a fresh present moment at the start of the year. Instead of placing pressure on ourselves, it's about having an open mind, reflecting on the year and having an awareness of our current behaviours, habits and goals and considering ways we can focus on looking after our well-being, happiness and health as the New Year begins. This way we can remain flexible whilst also reflecting and having an awareness of how we can continue to grow and prioritise our happiness and health, there is no need for rigidity as we only end up feeling as if we have failed or let ourselves down if we can't completely stick to something. You don’t need to become a “new you”, you can learn, grow, evolve, reflect and improve, without doing that, by getting closer to yourself and not further away.
Being Realistic: When it comes to considering resolutions or thoughts for the upcoming year, it's important to remember to be realistic, not setting goals in cement or stone but letting them be made of elastic. That way they have movement, they're able to be changed, broken or tested along the way. Of course a certain structure allows you to stay focused and motivated, but these emotions just like your opinion, can change. It's about being kind to yourself whilst working on yourself, they can occur simultaneously.
Small steps: Moving away from an 'All or Nothing' style of thinking is also beneficial. Starting small with little goals and ideas rather than trying to jump to the finish line or ultimate goal immediately. That's impossible. Particularly if you are wanting to shift a long term habit or behaviour, it takes a while to unwind such a habit when it's been a big part of your life or something that's become routine for you. Start with small and manageable steps and don't worry if some of those steps are backward, you can move forward again, everyone's journey is different. Consider the long term and then come back to the present and you and your choices right now.
Don't forget the good: When it comes to reflecting on the past year, what we've learnt along the way and the choices we have made, it's about not only focusing on aspects of ourselves that we can perhaps work on, but also the parts of ourselves and our year that we are proud of. The positives, achievements and things we are grateful for. With all bad comes some good, we can't forget the sunshine amongst the rain or the pride amongst the lessons.
The Year of 2020:
Of course, this year has been unlike any other. Since March we have been hit with the effects of the Coronavirus Pandemic. I feel 'New Year's Resolutions' can be pressurising and therefore unhelpful in a year without such a virus, let alone with the year we have had. I find awareness and reflection a lot more helpful as it's useful to look back at the year we've had to learn from and grow, but with an open-minded and flexible outlook rather than strict resolutions we feel we then cannot break.
This year has been challenging to say the least. With lives lost, families unable to see each other, unemployment rates extremely high, and loneliness and anxiety being common emotions, it's been a year of unexpected hurdles and difficulty. It may have effected us all differently individually, but we have all experienced a rollercoaster of a year. Therefore, more than ever I feel the term 'New Year, New Me' should be put aside. It's unnecessarily exhausting to put that pressure on yourself, of course there are benefits in reflecting, but not trying to become a completely new version of yourself. In the New Year, you will be the same you and I will be the same me, we always have things to work on but that's a positive as we can continue to learn, but beneath this you remain as you, and that's a blessing.
Some may suggest that reflection should be completely forgotten at the end of this year, that instead we should just push it away, forget and move on due to the difficulty of it all. However, I still feel there is positivity and power in looking back on what this year has brought you individually. Not only does this allow you to consider your own outlook, thoughts and behaviour, but it will also allow you to appreciate the good as well as the bad. Amongst the challenges and hurdles of this year, it's important to recognise you are still here. That's something to be proud of. You made it through and that's an accomplishment in itself. We've all been faced with a lot this year and you deserve to take a moment to breathe it all in, sigh out and pat yourself on the back for what you've accomplished.
There's been positives to, even though there's been a fair share of negatives, perhaps you've lost your job, lost a family member or friend, struggled isolating and not being able to communicate with those you love, there are always positives amongst the thorns. There is a lot we cannot control, although we are in control of our own behaviour, thoughts and choices, we cannot control everything that happens in the world we live in and we most certainly cannot plan everything. That's a positive, it can only help us remain flexible if something unexpected comes our way. We didn't plan for a year like this, wearing masks everywhere we go, standing two metres apart and being locked down in our houses unable to come out, although it's been challenging it's a reminder that we can consider what's to come, but we only have the present at hand.
Maybe you watched a new television series and loved it, heard a new piece of music and not stopped listening to it, you've experimented with a new hobby such as baking, cooking, home workouts, DIY in your home, doing something for charity, writing or knitting, you've spent more quality time with family members or pets, or even zoomed family and friends to stay in contact and keep talking. Maybe you've done none of these, maybe you feel you've achieved nothing and you're admitting to yourself that you've really struggled. Although it may not seem like it initially, that's a positive to. Your strength and persistence. Being honest with yourself and also being here right now to recognise that. Be proud of yourself, no matter how little it may feel you've achieved this year, you are here to feel what you feel and reflect on it all.
I'm sending you all love, light, positivity, a huge virtual hug and hope that 2021 brings you more happiness, health, freedom and better days. Quite literally, a happy new year.
Comments
Post a Comment