The Difference Between 'Body Confidence' and 'Body Positivity'?

A body is a body, just as a human is a human, although we have our differences, we have the right to all be treated the same when it comes to living on earth.  

‘Bikini body' or 'beach body ready’ should be nothing other than what it spells out. A bikini, a body, and you’re ready. Bikini, swim shorts, swimming costume, summer wear. Nobody should feel they don’t have the option to wear what they desire because of the body they are in, despite what the media may inform us, don’t spend your time preparing for summer or trying to change yourself when it’s already ready when summers here, it’s ready as you are. I’m an advocate for viewing our bodies as our home and accepting it in its neutral state with neutral response. I stand for body confidence. I stand for body positivity, although it is something I cannot be part of myself, I still agree with it. Often we incorrectly label ‘body positivity’ thinking it’s the same thing as body confidence, when they are actually different. 

Body confidence is the state of feeling confident in your own body. Body positivity is a movement that was made in the 1960’s by and for the marginalised and oppressed bodies within society as a safe place to celebrate radical self-acceptance, away from oppressive standards and under representation. Therefore in the petite frame I exist in I do not stand under that umbrella, but I do support the raising and acceptance of those who do. We are able to respect all voices, rather than take away from their right to be heard. We can be accepting of all, rather than disregard, assume, brand or judge. No ‘body’ is a ‘wrong’ body and shouldn’t be made to feel that way, too curvy and you should lose weight, too skinny you have no shape. We’re conditioned to be too judgemental and we can come away from it. I encourage confidence, the ability you have to respect your body, even without placing a positive or negative thought or energy towards it and that you don’t always have to feel or be positive in order to be comfortable in your skin. 

Self-acceptance and value in your own body doesn’t come as a gift to anyone but yourself. It’s not about ‘loving yourself’ and having to prove it, but getting to a point where that’s just the way it is, you don’t even have to think about it because it’s just there. Like breathing. It doesn’t mean you have to post yourself in your underwear for everyone to see, post about it to justify it, or receive validation or congratulations when you accept it. It shouldn’t be displayed as a milestone, but an acceptance of personal pride and liberation. 
Whilst you can share it with others if you wish to and that’s your gateway to shifting fear, then by all means do so. But just because someone else does it, that doesn’t mean you have to. It’s not a necessity to existing with self-acceptance.  

The clues in the word, the self is all that matters when it comes to accepting you for you. You don’t have to prove to anyone that you’ve reached a ‘point’, we don’t need to put standards or expectations on something that has none but being as you are. When we do, it becomes something we view as greater than us or something that’s out of reach when it’s not, it’s within all of us. Although it can be challenging, it’s simple. Although it’s liberating, it’s not special. Celebrate it but celebrate with yourself, it’s a conversation, feeling and freedom in self not with others. It’s something you don’t need to prove to know in ourselves, it’s not a medal or an achievement as such, but a contentment inside that will open doors outside, doing and being you no matter what anyone else thinks. Potential judgement becomes irrelevant and that’s where the euphoria of it is, not the displaying of it. 

Of course it’s impossible after so many years of thinking and believing certain things to be true to just suddenly wake up and love yourself fully for who you are, and instantly tell yourself all that you once thought to be true is a lie. But you can implement changes to slowly diminish those beliefs, you can alter ingrained thought processes through practice. Through challenging. You can choose to wake up and remind yourself that your body is to be cared for and nourished no matter what it looks like. To wake up and remind yourself of all the valuable things your body can do despite how it looks. You can choose to remind yourself that analysing your body is unhelpful, unnecessary and you can choose to resist the need to do it by engaging in something else, having your breakfast, meditation, dancing to music, anything other than picking yourself apart.  

No matter how hard we try, we will never be the clone of somebody else and that finding happiness doesn’t have to be found anywhere but within yourself, how someone looks doesn’t just come down to what they eat and do at the gym, many other factors come into play that we can’t determine or change such as genetics, bone structure, where you are more likely to hold body fat, your posture. Even if we all followed exactly the same regime, we would still be very different. Rather than fighting to change your body, cherish the fact that you have one in the first place, that's protecting you, that you're alive. Accepting doesn’t come with anything, it comes on its own with no standards, as you are and it can’t be given to you by anyone but yourself. Whether a level of muscle is visible on your body or not does not determine your worth, beauty, or well-being, they are just muscles. They’re not the only marker of strength and capability.  

Imagine if we could see our cardiac muscle that makes up our heart. It’s the same thing, but we’d wince and grimace at that because we haven’t been brought up in a society that idolises it, that claims its true beauty and what we should aim for. Real toned, visible cardiac muscle. Ludicrous. Stretch marks aren’t to be demonised either, they’re a natural part of change, they are just markers of being stretched beyond your original state, its evidence for your growth and inevitable. A good heart towers stories and who you are towers above external image, attractiveness is subjective, not everyone is attracted to the same people and what a blessing that is. So if the fact of the matter is that we are all different and we are all attracted to different people, then that in itself conveys the lack of specificity ‘beauty’ itself can hold. Beauty cannot be defined by one shape, one colour, one way, if it could, a rainbow would only be made up of one colour. Your body is your home, you can let yourself feel safe in it. 

Of course we can want things and we can dream, but it’s about whether those wants are attainable and if they’re a goal to keep us pushing forwards, or whether not having them holds us back. You can work towards things, but it’s about a healthy attachment to that want and knowing you are just as worthy and beautiful right now. When we think about what we want it can be helpful in keeping us driven and determined, but it’s about acknowledging those wants and then heading down the path with the awareness that things can and may change, that when we want things we are suggesting to ourselves that there are holes that require filling rather than knowing we are already whole as we are. Those wants, receiving and reaching new places are just bonuses, extra pennies, they are not the golden ticket to happiness. It is okay to move forwards and improve, but within what’s possible and not detrimental, that by improving we are growing and not correcting. Contentment should be our biggest want. That can be found whenever and wherever you want it and comes hand in hand with acceptance. You are enough. Be aware of when comparison’s enter your thoughts and know you have the ability to stop yourself, it’s in your power to stop, step away, acknowledge what you do have with love and know it’s enough, you don’t have to be trapped in the endless cycle of wanting more when you can be happy as you are. 

Connect to yourself and those things that only you are capable of, without comparing to anyone else, when that voice creeps in with a negative sting, take time to focus on those things you love. Think of them and thank them. I thank my senses, heart for beating, my organs and the work they do to keep me alive, my legs for being able to walk, skip and run, my brain for thinking and though frustrating, its ability to overthink. It only shows I care, its power within me rather than over me, my smile, my kindness, my strength, willpower, drive, determination, love to give, awareness and my body for carrying me. We focus too much on what our body looks like and not enough on the amazing things it does for us. None of those things are aesthetic, they are what keeps us alive and that’s what really matters. In letting go, that’s where the beauty lies.  

Everyone dislikes parts about themselves, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Perfect doesn’t exist, so we can stop ourselves from chasing it. It’s about knowing there are things you don’t particularly like about yourself but accepting yourself nevertheless, they can’t stop you from living a fulfilled life. It’s like living with a little fly, it’s irritating but it’s not debilitating, once the fly know it’s place or finds its way out the window of your mind, you can still carry on. You don’t have to sacrifice your mental and physical well-being to chase, conform to or owe society a body that isn’t your own. You can prioritise your own well-being without that. 

Energy cannot be destroyed, it can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another. So if you find yourself giving energy to comparison, don’t try and destroy it but invest it into something else, something that is going to make you feel good and how you deserve to feel. Journeys, abilities, where someone is, lifestyle, choices, achievements, we are all so different and therefore it’s not helpful to compare paths. Remind yourself that you can raise someone else up without lowering your own self down. You are doing just fine right where you are.