'I AM... VICTORIA'

                                                  

‘CHANNEL 4's POWERFUL NEW MINI SERIES’

‘I am…’ is a new three part series on Channel 4 of searingly truthful dramas. Each one hour episode follows a different protagonist and shares their story, each focusing on an important subject matter, supporting raising awareness and increasing conversation around such topics.

‘I am Victoria’ is the first of the three. Suranne Jones takes on the role of Victoria and does so phenomenally, her performance is extremely raw, honest and at times difficult to watch. Sharing Victoria’s story, a mother trying to do it all and hurtling towards a breakdown. We see her juggle multiple aspects of her life, finding it difficult to manage until it reaches a point of extremity. It’s a very moving and harrowing piece, equally important in raising awareness and discussion around mental health, triggers, how the lead up to a breakdown can physically manifest itself and not being afraid to seek help.

The story unfolds as we follow Victoria, a sensitive, ‘perfectionist’ mother of two, married to Chris and desperately trying to complete an important property development. Right from the start she is clearly on edge, very hypersensitive and inching closer to the brink as little events occur and push her further. With regards to why she is in the place she is mentally, there is no major reason and that’s what makes it so honest and relatable. Some of it is temperament, some self-inflicted and some external pressures and circumstances including the children, the house and her sister who asks to borrow some money. Managing too much, trying to control everything and repressing uncomfortable experiences and continuing to portray that everything is fine.

The Guardian reported “It’s a perfect portrait of a woman at a certain stage in life, when her resources are being depleted by the accumulated burdens faster than they can be restored,” and I completely agree.

Alongside the sublime performances, the camera work and direction is also worth mentioning. Directed by Dominic Savage, the camera helps to create and reflect the sense of pressure and claustrophobia that’s building in Victoria’s head. The camera follows the characters around, being on the move some shots are slightly messy, unstable and close and it really heightens both the reality and the intensity of Victoria’s circumstances and state throughout.

Suranne Jones recently shared that she came up with the idea after some experiences of her own and took the idea to Dominic who then visualised it and directed the piece. Jones was recently interviewed by Fearne Cotton on her podcast ‘Happy Place’ where she shared a little more on her own journey and how ‘I am Victoria’ came about.

I won’t disclose and reveal all that’s said in the interview, partly because there is a lot that’s spoken about, but mostly because I really recommend listening to it. You can listen via multiple podcast streaming sites or apps including Apple Podcasts or Spotify, you can even watch it via ‘Happy Place’ on YouTube. But I will share some points that I found particularly important or inspiring:

-    - Suranne Jones says the piece is “a love letter to mental health”. Encouraging the conversation that needs to be had around what’s good for you and what you’re trying to control.

-    - Behaviours and activities that are so widely shared and mental health supporters including yoga, podcasts, exercise, can all be useful but it’s important to establish and recognise why, the motivation, and when they can just become a way of trying to maintain control and a coping mechanism for what may be being repressed beneath.

-    - Jones delves into the fact that this element of trying to maintain control can be unhealthy. There are many things that we are unable to control in life, it’s inevitable. Controlling and looking after what we can is helpful to some degree, but hyper focusing on control and not letting go can be unhealthy for both outlook and our minds. Fighting to maintain that control rather than accepting and coming to terms with what’s out of our hands can result in detriment and suffering when it does come along.

-    - The point of breakdown is discussed, being aware of triggers and things spark those uncomfortable feelings of anxiety or pressure can enable you to stop yourself from getting to that extreme, to face things rather than repress. To be able to take a step back, always have time for yourself, time for calm and reflection, time to come to terms with challenges, trauma or grief for example in order to understand and accept them. She shares a little about her own experiences of losing her mother and having her son soon after then going straight back into work and eventually reaching a point of breakdown, as she didn’t give herself the time to mourn and grief.

-    - Noticing triggers or when things get too loud that you can’t hear, see or taste life in the way that you should be, things can become overwhelming when they build up or when we ignore them.

-    - Taking the shame and stigma away from medication, it can be helpful for some people even just for a while to turn the volume of the mind down and help to untangle it a little. Jones discusses being on and off medication herself and how it can be useful in times of need.

-    - She also raises conversation around normalising therapy and how continued discussion is needed around this in order for it to become less of a taboo subject or something to be ashamed of. Normalising just talking and sharing in order to get help ourselves. She has therapy every week and says “that’s good because I’m getting the help I need”. Believes we need to continue to build the support and system as a way of caring for ourselves and allowing anyone to receive help should they need it, breaking down and understanding in order to prevent the mind tangling and reaching detriment.

-    - There’s talk around taking the shame away from tuning into what you love and feels good rather than feeling the need to follow the crowd or majority. She says “Your version of life isn’t the same as my version of life”, there isn’t always a right or wrong with a lot of things and how we do them. She talks of staying in rather than going out, not drinking if others are, motherhood and the way we raise children, going to bed and waking up at a certain time, we’re all different and it’s okay to listen to your own pleasures and stick by them when caring for yourself and mental health. We can’t please everyone. She says “Sometimes we have to be a dick and that’s okay”.

-     - Of course we can challenge ourselves, step out of our comfort zone and have to feel discomfort at times in order to grow, but challenge isn’t the same as detriment or harm.

-    - It’s reassuring that she discusses it’s not a switch, it’s not as if now everything in her life post breakdown and therapy is sunshine and rainbows because nobody is perfect, mental health and caring for ourselves is a constant journey and continuous conversation.

-    - Life is a series of ups and downs, highs and lows and everything in between. But it is awareness, acceptance and continuing to talk that can help us ride the rollercoaster and avoid unnecessary harm or suffering and to remove the stigma that still surrounds mental health and the fact perfect doesn’t exist.

     ‘I am Victoria’ is certainly helping to remove that stigma, to increase the conversation around mental health and not be afraid of asking for help when struggling. I’m sure it will be painfully relatable for many viewers, painful but helpful in supporting the importance of mental health, caring for ourselves and continuing the conversation.

      Episode two ‘I am Danielle’ airs 12^th August and tackles consent and its importance starring Leticia Wright. Lesley Manville stars in Episode three ‘I am Maria’ which looks into the life of an older woman, marriage and reaching a crossroads on 19^th August. They’re all available on All 4 On Demand now.